Over a long career of being a nurse I found almost everyone had the fear they might not matter to someone as well as when they were going through something, they were alone. I plan to briefly address both of these.
I promise you, no matter whether your 20 or 50, somewhere you have made a difference in someones life. A kind word for a friend, a smile to a homeless person, your family and maybe even a teacher. No matter what your circumstances are or where you are in your life, there is no way for you not to matter as long as you are breathing in this world. It is part of the human experience. Gosh, I may not know you but trust me, you matter to me! You matter to the world because only you have the specific talents and abilities that you possess. There is no one like you. I am not trying to ramp up your ego (it does fine on its own!) I am stating just “facts.” You are special in so many ways which is why you can not, not matter.
When you are going through something whether it be a divorce, death, betrayal or life threatening illness you can never be alone either. We humans have been around for quite some time! Think of Henry The 8th and his wives! Now that was a screwed up marriage, with adultery, betrayal, divorce mixed with a little beheading! Look at the bible and you can see every bit of crap back then as we see now. Trust me, your pain has been felt by countless others and will continue to be felt. With billions of people on this planet, chances are when you are going through something, there is at least ONE more person going through it as well. You also can never be alone in something because all humans have the capacity for feelings and it is universal. Because of those universal feelings, the tragedies and foibles of life follow humans no matter where they are. You tell yourself that your divorce has special circumstances, or the death of a loved one was different than anyone else experience of death but they are just stories, not true. Since the beginning of the time of being human started, people have suffered at the hands of others and as well as due to Their circumstances. I guarantee you, there were some pretty horrific deaths back in the 1400’s that we future humans could not even fathom. I promise you that the diseases were just as bad back then but instead, no treatment. Hell a broken leg most likely meant death! Men went off to war, never to return and women were left to fend for themselves and children.
My Great grandmother had 12 children but only 7 survived. She lost children as late as age 4. When I asked her how she survived the death of her children she said ” I was grateful for the lives of my remaining children”. This was actually the norm back then.
I promise you, we have it so cushy now days compared to just a few hundred years ago, but it takes perspective. I feel really lucky to be alive now, how about you? I feel so lucky not to be one of Henry’s wives!
Love to you